It’s time for our first “Married at First Sight” engagement ceremony, everyone! This year, MAFS did things differently and forced everyone into a forced coexistence so they would all go mad and yell at each other on the engagement couch Genius, really

First everyone comes together and splits into husbands and wives to write down their decision and stare at the brick walls a lot. Mainly we wait to see if Bec and Jake can tolerate each other for another week, if Cam and Sam can tolerate each other even remember who the other person is and whether Boy Sam and Coco won’t murder each other on the couch

Boy Sam says he tried to be a super nice guy and he’s just just funnier than Coco, and he definitely never made 400 comments about her body

First sit on the couch Belinda and Patrick They are loved and run well and they both keep writing Then Russell and Beth went to the couch and although things have been bad with them it’s more like they just become friends, not in mischief Interestingly, Russell wants to leave because he thinks there is nowhere for their relationship to develop. But Beth keeps writing because she “wants to give the experiment everything,” which probably means, “I want to get a little bit more TV fame, before I finish the show “

Then it’s Bec and Jake It’s rough – Jake tells us that Bec didn’t just call him “boring” (she says they did Different definitions of boring? How?) But she also said he “sucked her life out” Booka says it for all of us when she puts her head in her hands and whispers “Oh God” It’s Bad Bec seems to think that this is perfectly fine and normal thing to really say to your spouse or anyone else!

In the end John gives her the harsh word and says if she holds up the wall she will meet a man who will treat her badly I would think she would NOT meet a guy but ok John Anyway Bec takes it pretty well and says she’s trying not to have a wall up, you write both stay

Next up are Booka and Brett, and of course they stay. Brett even uses the old Stussy symbol that killed me, hahaha

Oddly enough, Joanne and James are next and Joanne really said, “Well, I’ll stay and see for now”Did I miss something while warming up my sad old tomato noodles? When did she stop liking James enough to want to stay 100%?”

Bryce and Melissa are next, and while they are strangely acting almost psychotically like they were the happiest and most perfect couple on the couch to begin with, the truth is revealed when they talk about Confession Week it is very awkward – Bryce’s deceitful past, Melissa’s sex with her ex

By far the worst moment is when Bryce reveals his comments on Melissa about how she looks, Booka and Brett are ecstatic that he would walk past Melissa at a bar, the experts can’t believe No one can but, oddly enough, they say excited that they would like to stay – although John warns Bryce to watch his words in the future

It’s Alana and Jason next, and Alana says she’s having a hard time communicating with him and she’s not sure he’s ready to settle down.She says they have amazing sex chemistry and have it always done She’s just afraid it won’t go deeper. In one of the best MAFS moments, Alana says (when asked what she likes about Jason) that he always makes her orgasm, and I think we need to normalize that more on TV , you know? Everyone laughs like she said something dirty but it’s pretty cool the way Alana just owns it Yeah girl

Then it’s time for Sam and Cam who are essentially told to move in together to mend their relationship after Sam wrote that they were leaving while Cam wrote that they were staying

Finally we get to Sam and Coco She absolutely gives it to the guy She outlines all the shit she’s put up with, from his body embarrassment to the comments about her personality All the while he scoffs and rolls his eyes, until Mel actually interrupts her and asks if he knows how to read his body language.Bryce even interrupts him to tell him what kind of dick he is.It’s too much for Sam, who stormed off in anger Finally, because he wrote staying while Coco Vacation wrote, they are told to just try to build a friendship Huh, doubt that will happen

Melissa Mason is Marie Claire’s digital editor. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram

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World News – AU – MAFS Recap: Justice for Coco after her terrible marriage to Sam